Category: Writers Block
I have some bios for characters for my new story and would like some feedback on them, What you like about them, what you don't like, that sort of thing.
Main characters
Name: sirus
Age: 21
Element: darkness
Discription: Sirus has red spiked hair and brown eyes, he usually wears a blue body suit with two swords crossing his back. He is average hight and has a very good build.
Sirus is the tipical loner, he has no friends, dispite the fact that people have tried. He is the darkness element, the human personification of evil, the shadows, and death. Sirus is most often misunderstood and calls himself damaged goods. He doesn’t hesitate to kill, and if he did, it would mean his death by the person he has a crush on. He often enjoys a good game of solitare and has a pet man eating plant.
Name: Lyra
Age: 19
Element: water
Discription: Lyra has blue hair down to a little past her shoulders with longer parts usually tied in pony tails which fall over them. She has ice blue eyes that can deepen to a darker blue when she is angry.
Lyra is the water element. She is the symble of the sea, beautiful but deadly. She is the strongest of the four basic elements. Due to several battles with Sirus she has gone from a somewhat sweet girl to slightly cold hearted. Lyra is not very sociable, only talking to the three other elementals. She has a secret crush on Sirus, but being on different lines of good verses evil she will never admit that, not even to herself. Water can be stubborn but is the bringer of life. If someone dies Lyra can bring them back, she can also bring back the places where life has previously died. If a house explodes she can put it back.
Name: Shadower
Age: 18
Element: fire
Discription: Shadow has short chin length orange hair and brown eyes with yellow pupils which she can turne to black when she is around other humans. She always wears black and is seen as gothic.
Shadow is the fire elemental. She is supposed to be the second weakest, but due to her fighting abilities she is the second strongest. She is the character that after Sirus has the darkest past and the worst human life. She collects dragons and her best friend is Lily. She will defend her friends and her family to her last breath and until there is nothing left in her. Shadow always listens to her instincts. If something doesn’t feel right then she will fight, but if she is unsure she knows she should ask for help, but she dives right in anyway. Fire can be impulsive but is also the healer.
Name: Lily
Age: 18
Element: earth
Discription: Lily has long green hair with light green bangs that she usually has tied into a braid to keep it out of her face. She has blue eyes with flecks of brown and green.
Lily is the earth elemental and Shadower’s bwest friend. She is the social person and tries to be something she is not. She is stuk between who she wants to be and who everyone else wants her to be. She has an efinity with plants and with animals. Lily has a special connection with wolves but her friends don’t understand why.
Name: ecy
Age: 17
Element: wind
Description: Ecy has light white hair with green eyes. She has pail skin and her eyes can be the window to her soul but they are always hard to read except for her friends.
Ecy is the wind element. Physically the weakest of the four girls but she makes up for that weakness by using her powers creatively. She is comedic relief of the story and has a long list of many things she likes to do. She likes to play on her computer, she is a writer and her bedroom walls are always covered with some sort of drawings. She is the one who will step outside the usual elemental confort zone and try to get along with humans. This comes from her being the youngest of the four, but in elemental law she is still considered an adult, even if humans aren’t considered till they are 18.
just reply with your oppinions and thoughts and if anything can be improved.
I like the sound of your characters and I'd be interested to read the story. I also love how you have their hair and eye colour reflect their elemental connection. That fact that you seem to draw a line between the elemental and human world intregues me as well.
I always have their hair represent their element, that's just the way I am. and it's not so much as two different worlds, the only way I can relate it is the wizard and muggle world of harry potter, with wizards and muggles living in the same neighborhoods, but under a totally different set of laws, even though, they can still get into trouble with the muggle athorities. that's basically what I model it after. I hope that makes some sense.
yeah, I understand, that's really cool and I'd be curious to read the actual story that these characters are a part of.
Interesting hair and eye colors. personality, trates, and body-types are excilent. Just remember to keep they're charictoristics straight.
I like Ecy, she seems the least generic of the characters.
Sirus is your typical cool looking loner. Why make him typical? Why is he so dark, what happened in his past to make him that way, why won't he just admit that he is in love, I can see Lyra asking herself these questions... If I can see it already, it's not a good sign.
Shadower seems cool, but is there more to her than having a crappy life and shooting fireballs? I can see her falling for one of the girls, Lyra in particular.
Lily seems the more moderate of the characters, almost the voice of reason in the group. I can see Sirus falling for her and not Lyra.
Loners usually go for the outgoing friendly girls, and it never works out.
hate to mention, but for the forseeable future, this story is not going to be. i'm keeping the bios around, and who knows I might get inspired to write it, but I've got another thing that I'm working on. grr. stupid ideas, come into my head and then get kicked out by something more pressing.